Memorial Day: My Father

Yesterday was Memorial Day, and I spent a portion of the day thinking about my dad. My dad was 40 years old when I (his first child) was born (my mom was 21 -- go daddy!), and from my point of view, he loved nothing more than getting to be a father. He indulged me (and left my mother to try to control me, a task that, unfortunately, was sometimes beyond her. I pray my children will not put me through the things I put her through. Zippy already scares me sometimes). But I digress... Memories of my father:

• Dad sitting out on the carport at the picnic table. Dad smoked outside, because mom is allergic to smoke. Daddy would sit outside with the paper or a book and smoke, and was always available when we wanted to talk.
• Dad buying cat food for the cat that adopted us. We were NOT going to have a cat, no sir, but since it kept coming around, we might as well feed it instead of letting it starve. (My mom bought cat food within a day or two of my dad doing so.) Timmy the cat eventually became an inside cat, and he was a Very Good Cat. Timmy would hold a Dorito between his paws and lick off all the cheese and then take tiny bites of the chip. I had no idea back then how cool this was.
• Dad picking me up from gymnastics practice when I'd badly sprained my ankle. I was somewhat of a drama queen as a child, and when the call came that I'd been injured, he didn't rush to come get me. When he got to the gym, my ankle and the bottom of my foot were black and blue, and swollen with blood. Yuk. The look on his face was pure shock. And I remember that he wanted to carry me up the stairs (the gym was in the basement of a strip mall, down about 60 stairs), but couldn't. 12 year olds are generally too big to carry.
• Playing catch with my dad in the yard. I'm sorry if you don't have a similar memory. Dad was always good for a catch.
• Road trips. Dad would drive, mom would read. I remember one time we were going God Knows Where, and it was raining like hell. I wanted to talk, and my dad wanted me to be quiet. I kept talking, and my dad was not happy. I don't know exactly what was said, but I do remember finally looking through the front windshield and seeing what he could see. Pretty much a wall of water. I shut up.
• Driving my dad to the hospital when he was diagnosed with pneumonia. I wish I'd known it could kill him. I wish I'd known he wouldn't come home. He'd never been sick before in my memory, and it just was not possible that he wouldn't be okay. Unfortunately, it wasn't simple pneumonia (or even complex pneumonia), it was Legionnare's Disease.

My dad was a WWII vet who served in France. He was injured after only about six weeks overseas, and spent over 18 months recovering from his injuries. I could feel the shrapnel still in his body - near his elbow. He did not like to talk about what happened, but it's my understanding that he was not involved in a battle - he was out investigating the area near where his troop was, and a bomb went off. My aunt told me that he'd said that he never thought he'd be stupid enough to try to dig his way into a tank, but after the bomb went off, that's what he tried to do. He was evacuated from the area and sent to an American hospital in France, where he was put back together.

As the story goes, he'd been in the hospital for several weeks when he asked the doctor when he'd be able to walk again. The doctor told him, "any time you're ready," to which dad's response was, "even though I can't feel my leg?" WHOA. Turns out they'd missed a piece of shrapnel behind his knee, and things were not good. Thus the long recovery period. Dad never fully recovered -- most of the time he didn't limp, but when it got to hurting, it was not pleasant for him.

Dad died on June 13, 1983, but it still feels like yesterday. I miss him terribly and wish that he had been here for so many things. I feel his presence sometimes.

The Man

Not to make anyone sick or anything, but I have to mention how much I love my guy. He just called from the road - they've already been through Sedona this morning and had stopped in Prescott for breakfast. As I mentioned before, his mom was going to watch the girls tonight, but he'd now like them to be here, as he's missing his Zippy and Burger fix.

Maybe it's wrong that we don't get to spend enough time alone with just the two of us, but it can't possibly be wrong that we both adore hanging out with our kids.

Yum-Yums

Zippy has declared that M&Ms are now called yum-yums. And that she loves them. And that her favorite color is pink.

Zippy has also discovered syllables, and one of her new favorite things to do is to find two sticks and count the syllables while using the sticks to emphasize the individual syllables. This is very cool, hilarious when you give her a word with more than three syllables, and slightly dangerous if you get too close to the sticks while she's counting syllables.

Tonight, my guy is out of town - he's taken off on his most beloved Harley Davidson with two friends (he left the house around 4:45 this morning - yuk!), and has gone out on the road. They made it to Flagstaff today, have their tents up, and are going to have some dinner and drinks. He didn't mention if they were planning on telling ghost stories or not, my guess is not, because these guys are all way too cool for fun things like ghost stories. Well.. hubby would most certainly tell a few if Burger was there, because she's fun to scare, but I'm guessing ghost stories just won't happen when there are three grown men involved. Too bad. If Jin from Lost were with them, he'd show them how much fun ghost stories really are!

Tomorrow the guys are going on the second leg of their trip, through Sedona, Arizona, and I really wish I were there to see it, because the pictures I've seen are gorgeous. Too bad I'm such a wuss and hate to get on the back of that motorcycle, but really, I just hold on and pray when I have to ride it. And since:

• I am not sure I actually believe in God
• I don't want to die, especially not at the same time as hubby (well, maybe when we're really old. But until then, I think that's a shitty thing to do to your kids)

I just don't get on the back of the bike. It's been almost two years since I've done so. And while I wish that I liked it, because hubby loves it and it'd be nice to have something we do, I'm just not able to make myself get on it right now.

Hubby will be home tomorrow night, and his mom is going to keep the kids overnight. So I'll make dinner, rub his feet, and we'll hang out and um, do grownup stuff, and then I bet he falls asleep early, because long days on the road wear a person out. And I'm cool with that.

Leonie's meme

My friend Leonie recently responded to a meme, and even though she doesn't yet know I've started this blog, I'm going to respond, as she challenged her readers to respond in kind.

4 jobs I have held:

1. Lifeguard. I spent at least a portion of seven summers as a lifeguard, and it's the best summer job. Especially if you're like me -- I always asked for the adults-only pools (you make more money working for apartment/condo complexes than at public pools), and thus most of the time I was alone at the pool. At least until 5 pm or so, when the residents started coming home from work and would stop by for a quick dip and some conversation. I got to read a lot of books, and even managed to get a tan without burning, as I spent 99% of my time under an umbrella - I've never been a big fan of just baking in the sun.

2. Pizza delivery person. FUN!! I did this for one summer when I lived in Ocean City, Maryland (the summer of 1985. Yes, I'm that old.) I met tons of interesting people, wasn't shut inside the hot pizza shop (hi Pizza Tugos!) all summer, and wasn't stuck working retail (blech). I also always had ready cash at hand, and was never broke until my next paycheck like my roommates (of course, this also means that my roommates knew who to borrow money from... but that's another story).

3. Real estate appraiser. Also fun, also not stuck at a desk all day long. I was welcomed into all sorts of homes - from small shacks to million dollar mansions (that figure might not seem as impressive now as it did ten plus years ago. It sure was then!. I loved meeting new people, setting my own schedule, and figuring out what made the price set at a certain level.

4. Consultant. This is what I do now. I help companies design/test/pilot/implement/run their messaging servers. It's fun, I love my boss and have wonderful co-workers. I do miss not being tied to a desk most of the time, though!

4 movies I can watch over and over:

1. Dogma. Just brilliant. I love the story, the characters, the irreverence, all of it. I'm a HUGE Kevin Smith fan and a big geek.

2. Shag. What's better than four good friends who go to the beach when they're supposed to be doing other things? A classic chick flick, and fun fun fun!

3. Valley Girl. This reminds me of my friend Bernadette - we must have watched this hundreds of times during the summer of 1984. Nicholas Cage at his most casual.

4. The African Queen. Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. A delicious movie.

4 places I have lived:

1. Berwyn Heights, Maryland. The town where I grew up, our little Mayberry. Berwyn Heights is a wonderful little town - it's about a mile square, close to the University of Maryland. There were tons of kids in town and I spent many years playing in the town's little league. Berwyn Heights Day was always a special day, starting with a pancake breakfast (usually prepared by the mayor), moving on to the parade, games, pony rides, etc. I usually made it to Berwyn Heights day well after we'd moved away from town, and if I'm ever in Maryland the first weekend in May, I'll be back for this event! Every child should grow up in such a great town!

2. Crofton, Maryland. This is where we bought our first house. It's a much larger town than Berwyn Heights was, but we had fabulous neighbors (well, mostly. Doug and Kathy Mayer, you're the reason I have to include the "mostly". Jerks.) Burger (eldest child) went to elementary school in Crofton and to this day bemoans the fact that we no longer live there, as she would have been POPULAR. Got that? POPULAR. I ruined her life. Bad Mommy.

3. Bentonville, Arkansas. Yes, Arkansas. It's beautiful there. Unfortunately, we had to leave because:

a) I'm apparently allergic to everything there.

b) It's the bible belt. Really.

It was great living near my aunt, grandmother, and cousins for the year we were there, though, and I miss them all and wish I were more adept at keeping in touch now that we've moved.

4. Midway City, California. That's home for now. It's a tiny little town (about the size of Berwyn Heights) in Orange County, California. Unfortunately, we don't have the sense of community here that we had in the old BH. Sigh. So this may not be our last stop.

4 categories of TV programming that I enjoy:

1. Serial drama. Lost and Heroes are my favorites.

2. Family shows. Friday Night Lights is brilliant, and I'm so happy it was renewed for another season. I'm still bummed that American Dreams was cancelled a few years ago. We need more shows that we can watch as a family without having to cover Burger's eyes.

3. Reality TV. But only in very limited doses. As in limited to Survivor, Amazing Race, Deadliest Catch, and Project Runway. NO dating shows. YUK. No uber mean shows (I can't find my umulat!)

4. Good for me shows. Documentaries, history, biographies, etc. I dig this stuff.

4 places I have been on holiday:

1. Bend, Oregon. Love it. OMG, gorgeous, friendly, charming. Like a bigger Berwyn Heights.

2. Duck, North Carolina. Great place for a family vacation - we went to Kitty Hawk, spent time on the sand dunes, shopped, drove the truck out on the beach (which you cannot do in Maryland!), and had a wonderful week in Duck.

3. Ocean City, Maryland. Nothing like going down the shore. I'd kill for Thrasher's fries right about now (none better, anywhere, ever. I swear.) And I've never been to another boardwalk that's so much simple fun. You can people watch all day, ride the big ferris wheel, go in the fun house... I miss Ocean City.

4. Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Skiing with my guy when we were young. Sigh.

4 of my favorite dishes:

1. Lasagna. Home made, of course.

2. Jambalaya. Spicy, please!

3. Sushi. Anything but uni or tako.

4. Corned beef and cabbage. Simple, real food. With spicy mustard!

4 websites I visit daily:

1. www.cnn.com

2. www.msnbc.com

3. www.google.com

4. www.gymgossip.com

4 places I would rather be right now:

1. Bend, Oregon

2. St. Petersburg, Russia

3. Duck, North Carolina

4. Driving with my husband, going anywhere.

4 things I love to do in my spare time:

1. Garden

2. Cook

3. Read

4. Play

I'm opting out of tagging others, as I'm new at this game and am not quite ready to go there yet!

Zippy*

Zippy - Easter 2007

Zippy was a surprise child. We didn't plan for her to be here, but she is, and she's full of life. I mean, the child doesn't stop moving from the time she wakes up in the morning until the time she is ready for "night-nights". She is totally herself, and absolutely knows what she wants to do and what she will not do. You cannot use reason with her, but big smiles and a little bribery help get us through most days.

Zip didn't start talking until much later than most kids - at three and a half we were told that her speech was way behind (like, um, two years behind). Most parents would worry, but really, we weren't so much worried as aggravated - it's HARD to know what your child is trying to convey when they're grunting and pointing at things instead of explaining exactly what it is that they're trying to get at. (Yes, I know infants don't even give you that much of a clue -- but really, infants grow out of that, usually within a year or so! We dealt with this for over three years - which makes us wonderful, loving parents, because we didn't toss the kid in her room and shut her door until she could talk. We thought about it, but didn't follow through, because we're so loving and nurturing. Really.)

Zip started going to speech therapy in October. She attends class three days a week for an hour and forty-five minutes each day. She loves loves loves her teachers and the other children in her class, and always has a big smile when she leaves for school and when she gets home. Last week she learned about syllables, and she's having a blast figuring out how many syllables are in familiar words. Once you give her a word with more than three syllables, though, hilarity ensues. ;)

Now the Zipster can't stop talking. I mean, the child goes on and on and on and on!!! But we're cool with it. It's still hard for her to always communicate what she wants, but she's better at getting her ideas across, and she cracks us up on a regular basis. When she doesn't have the words to tell you what she wants, she says "show me", and then we correct her, "Zippy, you say 'I want to show you this'," and then Zip says, "show me" again and we get up off our butts to see what it is she wants. Usually food. In the snack cabinet, where she needs help to reach things. (We do feed her regularly, and if we were smart, we'd probably move the snacks to somewhere where she could easily reach them. But we're not that smart. At least not most days.)

This child just brightens our days so much. I'm so glad she surprised us and is here!

*Thanks to Haven Kimmel for the nickname.